The shower epiphany

Sometimes, the shower's a great place to have an epiphany. It may be one of the few moments / places during the day where my focus is on me and only me. In moments like this, my inner voice can be heard, whereas it's normally overpowered by the "I gotta do this or that" voices. The Circus, as I like to call it.

Paranoia and worry set in when we give too much thought to the past or too much thought about the future. People make empty promises. I mean, we all do it...

Most people know certain exchanges are empty, but I used to be pretty naive. I thought that people meant everything they said, even though I probably didn't. I'm sure I spent a great deal of time waiting around on people to follow through on these things. A SHIT ton of wasted time....

I found myself doing this again. That's when I just have to slap myself on the hand and give myself a good talking to about the dangers of falling into old habits. I enjoy the now too much to start that old shit up again.

How many of us rush through the week just to get to the weekend? Totally asinine! I'm glad I forced myself to sit still tonight and decompress. This was much needed.

Acceptance

Awhile back, I had this dream that scared me. I think I wrote it somewhere in the unorganized mess of half-finished journals I have laying around. I never have thought it through, though. I was just reading the Tibetan Art of Living and one of the key points of health and happiness is acceptance. It went on and on about it for two pages. When I reached the end of the section, a flash of that scary dream entered my mind and suddenly, the dream wasn't as frightening.

The dream was just the letters on a ouija board and it repeatedly spelled the word "accept" until the word appeared over the board on what could only be described as Scrabble letter blocks.

A C C E P T A N C E

Why do I have SO much trouble with this? I always think that I DO accept who I am, but I keep coming back to this same place. I'm not getting anywhere.

HOW do I accept? What don't I accept? How do I answer a question like this?